WET GREG

who is wet greg?

well he's an octopus and he's... wet

that's all you need to know.
stop asking questions — he might hear you.

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~ SASSY GREG ~ "PICKLES ARE JUST CUCUMBERS THAT WENT TO JAIL AND CAME OUT DIFFERENT."

you've done it now. you awoke greg.

~ CHAOTIC GREG ~ "I JUST SNEEZED AND I THINK I SAW GOD."

Greg is... special. He has a habit of saying weird things. Sometimes he can get a bit unhinged.

~ CONSPIRATORIAL GREG ~ "BIRDS ARENT REAL. THEY CHARGE ON POWER LINES."
~ SUPPORTIVE GREG ~ "HEY. HEY YOU. YOURE INCREDIBLE. DEAL WITH IT."

But sometimes he can be a genuine sweetheart.

~ SUPPORTIVE GREG ~ "YOU HAVE SURVIVED 100% OF YOUR WORST DAYS. THATS A PERFECT RECORD."
~ ANGRY GREG ~ "I HAVE 8 ARMS AND EVERY ONE OF THEM IS CROSSED RIGHT NOW."

Other times his emotions can get the better of him.

~ ANGRY GREG ~ "IM SMALL AND ROUND AND FULL OF RAGE."
~ HUNGRY GREG ~ "EVERY THOUGHT I HAVE RIGHT NOW IS ABOUT SHRIMP."

And if you don't feed him he might get feisty.

~ HUNGRY GREG ~ "IM ONE MISSED MEAL AWAY FROM BECOMING A VILLAIN."
~ CREEPY GREG ~ "I HAVE 8 ARMS AND THEY ALL WANT TO HOLD YOU."

He can get... a bit too attached.

~ CREEPY GREG ~ "EVERY ONE OF MY NEURONS IS THINKING ABOUT YOU. THATS A LOT OF NEURONS."

Depending on how you interact with Greg, you might bring out a different side of him.

Greg is sensitive, kind, and sassy. He reacts to you and feeds off your emotional state. What you do to Greg — and with him in the world — will affect him.

He's a pal that grows with you.

~ SASSY GREG ~

this is Greg's home

this is Greg's brain

and this is a jar of mayonnaise

...why are you still scrolling?

STOP!!

for the love of God, STOP

i haven't thought this far ahead

this is all i have

who the hell made this?

you don't want to know.

...fine. if you really have to know, the trail leads here:

(don't say we didn't warn you.)

I seriously need help

I have no idea what I am doing, but I'm sure having fun doing it.

want to help build the wettest Greg on the internet? contribution guidelines are still being written — check back soon, or poke us through the links below.

here's how you can keep Greg hydrated (and the lights on):

(Patreon & Discord are placeholders for now — real links coming soon.)